Funny Birthday Wishes

Funny Birthday Verses Wishes

Warning – Very Funny Birthday Verses and Wishes found Here. For that friend or family member who loves a good bit of humor, but as a warning, you always be sure that the receiver of your humor can wear it well, otherwise, you may be in for more than you bargained for. – Funny Birthday Cards

Funny Happy Birthday Verses Wishes


Funny Birthday Verses

The past is the past
that’s now in the rear –
The future’s, the future
but, it’s not yet here.

So today is today
until it is done –
The present’s the present
but hey, you DIDN’T get one.

Happy Birthday

By – Jesse Marshall

I looked about everywhere
to find a gift to buy –
Something really special
for a smashing kind of guy.

But not a thing came to mind
nothing made the call –
Now it seems, I’m out of time
so, you got nothing at all.

Happy Birthday

By – Jesse Marshall

How many candles on your cake
no-one here can count –
All I know is that you must be old
to need anywhere near, this amount.

Happy Birthday

By – Jesse Marshall

You and I are friends, right?
so I’m guessing you won’t mind –
If, I give you credit and say that
OLD AGE SUITS YOU FINE.

Happy Birthday
To An Old Geezer.

By – Jesse Marshall

Don’t be upset by
your old age onset –
Or things you should’ve done
but now you regret.

Don’t take it to hard
when you, cough and pee –
Or need a magnifying glass
just so you can see.

Not everything’s failing
just don’t take a chance –
Just thank the lord, that
you don’t yet, crap your pants.

Happy Birthday

By – Jesse Marshall

Your teeth are gone
your pee is slow –
The only thing fast
is the years that go.

Your joints are now
the only thing stiff –
Your hair has receded
where once was a quiff.

Your gut’s gotten bigger
you got junk, in the trunk –
And your private parts, now
have all shriveled and shrunk.

Your ears and nose
are now big and hairy –
Your voice is all croaky
and you’re now kinda scary.

Mostly I’m joking
whilst some are true –
And the rest will surely
catch up to you.

Happy Birthday

By – Jesse Marshall

Another wrinkle on your face
new gray hairs on your head –
It’s all downhill, from here on in
but hey, at least we’re not yet dead.

Happy Birthday You Old Fart

By – Jesse Marshall

You Are Old – Happy Birthday

Your teeth were
once in your gums –
But now, in a cup
beside your bed.

You nose and ears
have sprouted hair –
But it’s run right
off your head.

By – Jesse Marshall

You’re old, cranky
and extremely weird –
Your sexy has left
and now you’re feared.

You’re snappy and mean
and dare I say, perverse –
But then I guess, that
you could get worse.

On a positive note
although that’s all true –
I just want to say
Happy birthday to you.

Hey, I Think
You’re Really Great

By – Jesse Marshall

I was going to get you a present
but I would have had to go out –
I was going to give you money
but my wallet is stuck in a drought.

So I made you this verse instead.

Happy Birthday

By – Jesse Marshall

Facebook have gone
and spoiled my birthday surprise!
I wanted to let you know that
I had remembered, all on my own!

So much for surprises
Happy Birthday Anyway

By – Jesse Marshall

We wished, that all your
wishes come true –
But you wished for money!
so I won’t hold my breath.

Happy Birthday

By – Jesse Marshall

You creek when you bend down
You groan when you stand up
And your teeth don’t sleep with you
they’re beside you, in a cup.

Your rememberer is failing
and your eyes can bearly see –
But dear, I love you madly
you’re still the one for me.

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart.

By – Jesse Marshall

Birthday’s used to come
with lots of treasures –
Parties, drinks
and worldly pleasures.

Now they come and go
without the hype –
‘Cause now you’re not
the birthday type.

A good birthday now
is to be left alone –
To mope and moan
all on your own.

Happy Birthday

By – Jesse Marshall

Your birthday’s here, you’re depressed
your attitude is no show –
Your Facebook wall, abound with wishes
from people you, don’t know.

Haha, Happy Birthday


Funny Birthday Messages

  • Don’t worry about getting older. You’re still gonna do dumb stuff, only slower.
  • In the bathroom? In the toilet? On your desk? The fireplace? – At your age it’s always a great achievement to remember where the car keys were last!
  • You’ve always been the Brother I’ve look up to – until I realized that I am way cooler than you. Happy Birthday!
  • Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
  • Remember when music was better and people were nicer and children respected their elders? Oh, what am I saying. I bet you don’t remember your own name. Happy birthday anyway!
  • You are the perfect example of how old people celebrate their birthday. There is plenty of food, but doctor has warned you not to eat any of those. Happy birthday!
  • You only get old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to hear about it. Happy Birthday
  • Adding a candle on your cake today means your doctor will probably be adding another pill to your daily regimen of medicine.
  • I wanted to get you something fantastic, super terrific, unique and beautiful for your birthday, but I didn’t fit into the envelope.
  • Happy Birthday – May you have many more happy, healthy years and if they run out, may the devil forget your address.
  • Happy birthday! At our age, I don’t know why people expect us to remember their birthdays. On a good day, we’re lucky if we even remember where our car keys are!
  • It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. Can you remember?
  • Birthday: The only day in your life, your mother smiled when you cried. – Abdul Kalam
  • I’m bad with words, so just imagine the things you’d want to hear from me on your birthday and assume I said them. Happy Birthday! (I almost came up with that one myself!)
  • When you were a little kid, having a birthday meant opening presents, playing silly games, spinning around wildly for no reason, and eating cake till you passed out. By the looks of it, not much has changed for you. Happy Birthday!
  • You’re older, wiser, stronger, sexier. Well, at least one of these is true today. Happy Birthday
  • I respect that you don’t want anyone telling you happy birthday, so instead I will say happy naked, screaming into the world day!
  • So, how many candles are you yet to blow before your pension, and afterwards? I really think I have lost count of them, and I don’t think the counting will ever come to an end.
  • The best part of being a BIG Sister is getting to boss you around when mom’s not around. Happy Birthday!
  • Congratulations! You’re the only person that I don’t need a Facebook reminder to remember their birthday.
  • Today is the one day of the year that I am nice to you. Enjoy it because tomorrow I will go back to being the sarcastic, annoying Sister that you love to hate.
  • We all know that wisdom comes with age. You see, you don’t have any of the signs of aging! Happy Birthday!
  • Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, funny and reminds me a lot of myself.
  • We all have two lives, and the second one begins when we realize we have only one. Make the most of it! – Confucius
  • Birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody still rushes in to get a piece? Aha, but I’m going to try it with my veggies!
  • I’ve stayed in touch all these years because you’re the only one that can handle my excessive displays of sarcasm.
  • This is an ideal time to reflect on the previous year and resolve to be even lazier in the coming one. Happy Birthday
  • You may not be over the hill yet, but with each birthday the view gets better and better! Happy Birthday
  • As you reflect on your life, you’ll notice that I’ve been there through every embarrassing, happy, sad, proud, scary and important moment in your life. Remember that the next time you’re mad at me for forgetting your birthday.
  • Aged like fine wine, complex and fruity. Happy Birthday
  • They say wisdom comes with age – I guess you can’t be as old as you look. Happy Birthday
  • Sight, might, height. You’re losing them all my friend. Happy Birthday
  • You must be something really special – Today out of the 3,276,821 people having a birthday, I was only thinking of you!
  • It’s a good thing birthday wishes don’t come true. If they did, I would be an only child. Happy Birthday to you!
  • Happy Birthday – Remember when your hair was thick and your waist was thin? Funny how things change.
  • Congratulation – you have reached the age where compliments will be followed by – for your age. Happy Birthday
  • I hope you enjoy your birthday. You may never know how much you mean to me unless we switch places and you stand where I do.
  • They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down to the rest of your body.
  • On this special day, take an oath that you will do as much you can in life, ’cause your time is rapidly on the decline. Happy Birthday!
  • Dear Friend. Have you ever wondered why I’ve kept you around for so long? You absolutely know way too many of my secrets. Happy Birthday
  • Birthdays are like doughnuts. Too many of ’em will kill you.
  • Congrats on becoming a year older. Wishing you lots of love and hair dye to wash away those new gray hairs. Enjoy your birthday.
  • Remember that age is just a number. Well, until you hit 60. Then you’re just really freakin old! Happy Birthday
  • You recognize the fact that you’re getting older when the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
  • Happy Birthday from your Little Brother. By the way, thanks for setting the bar so low, making it easy for me to excel at being the favorite.
  • Congratulations! You are now old enough to need two packs of candles for your cake. Happy Birthday
  • Warm wishes on your birthday! I didn’t bring a gift though. I figured it’s payback for all the trouble you’ve gotten me into all these years.
  • This year on your birthday, don’t regret the things you’ve done in the past. Do new things to regret in the future.
  • Never forget how blessed you are to have me as a Sister. Have an awesome birthday.
  • If you were born in the month of September, it is pretty safe to assume that your parents started their New Year with a BANG!
  • Congratulations on your birthday! Remember: Today, no sex – Because you need all your energy to blow out your candles!
  • Your Birthday every year could also work as reminder to do your yearly PROSTATE EXAM! Happy Birthday
  • Thank God that we have birthdays to celebrate. These birthdays always remind me of how old you actually are, because you are always so energetic, dynamic, creative and lively person to be with.
  • I think there is nothing funny about having a birthday and getting old when you are already old. That’s why I am going to keep your birthday wishes totally serious from here on. Happy Birthday
  • On your birthday some words of wisdom: Smile while you still have teeth! Happy Birthday
  • We’ve shared a room, clothes, toys, friends and our genetics. Thank goodness we don’t have to share a birthday! Happy Birthday
  • You’re birthday gift is the privilege of having me as a Sister – and you’re welcome.
  • You think you’re something special because it’s your birthday today? You’re something special every day.
  • On the day you were born, the doctor was a little late to the delivery room. Some dinosaurs seemed to be blocking his way! Happy Birthday
  • I don’t know what age has done to you, but it seems like you have really been conquering it. Today is the prize giving day for the bravery you have shown so far. Happy Birthday
  • Happy Birthday to a dear Friend. May you always have more hairs on your head than candles in your cake.
  • I’m not saying you’re old and senile with one foot in the grave, but you better be prepared for the guy in the hooded robe that will knock on your door and it won’t be Halloween! Just Sayin! Happy Birthday
  • Getting older is getting really scary! Can I stop now?
  • Remember me? I asked this because you may be facing memory lapses due to your old age.

More Funny Wishes Here


All Funny birthday verses tagged are the original writings and property of Jesse Marshall.